Regrets . . I've Had a Bunch

I'm always amazed when I see some celebrity being interviewed who says they have no regrets. I have no idea how you get through life without having any of those pesky little creatures seeping into your thoughts as your head hits the pillow. When I was younger, I assumed those lucky people who were regret-free were a product of their charmed life. If you were rich, successful and/or famous, I had reasoned, how could you regret anything in the path that got you there. Now that I'm older and less stupid, I know that money and fame has nothing to do with it. To live a life with no regrets you must: a) be a fatalist who thinks everything happens for a reason, b) not give a flying you-know-what about the thoughts and feelings of anyone else on the planet, or c) not be a parent.

Looking in the rear view mirror at our life choices can be a dangerous hobby. Oh, sure, most of my regrets - "Why did I give away my original Beach Barbie?" or "What was I thinking when I got that haircut?" - don't end up keeping me up at night. I wince at the thought of not having a few extra bucks in our bank account or shudder at an old photograph but then I laugh and move on. Some others - "Why didn't I go to Arizona State when I had the chance?" or "Why didn't I take that entry-level job at the Washington Post?" - make me occasionally wonder about the road not taken but don't usually surface unless I see a picture of the ASU campus or stumble upon a late night showing of All the President's Men.

No. The only regrets that matter; the only ones that do end up invading my sleep are those that concern my parenting skills. "Why wasn't I tougher?" "Why didn't I follow through on consequences?" "Why did I bail my kids out of difficult situations as often as I did?" "Why didn't I "teach" instead of "do" more often than I did?" I could go on and on but I won't. I know it's a complete waste of time and accomplishes nothing. I could say I did the best that I could at the time but that wouldn't always be the truth. Sometimes I just did what was easiest or most convenient for me.

And maybe that's my biggest regret of all.