The First Year

Twenty-eight years ago, I had my first article published in Modern Bride magazine. I was eight and a half months pregnant when I waddled up to the cash register with the proof that someone other than my family actually thought I could write. The look on the cashier's face was priceless, I have to say. I shouldn't have said anything (except maybe that I was stopping next to pick up my veil) but I couldn't resist offering an explanation of why someone in my condition was purchasing a bridal magazine. Funny. He wasn't all that impressed when I pointed to my name in the table of contents. Maybe that's because he was all of seventeen and some crazy pregnant lady was losing her mind over an article called What a Difference a Year Makes. (Not my title. I wanted to go with something pithy like "Marriage Year One" or "Who the Hell Are You Anyway?" but those control freaks at Modern Bride wouldn't hear of it).

The reason I'm dredging up ancient history is today is my daughter's (the one that was with me in Aisle 4) first wedding anniversary. As I searched my filing cabinets for a copy of my insightful piece to share with her, I couldn't help wondering if she would even be able to relate. I was thirty when I got married. She was twenty-seven. So far, not too dissimilar. She moved into an apartment a few miles from both sets of in-laws. I moved across the ocean with no support system in sight. She got pregnant on her honeymoon. I, despite appearances mentioned earlier, didn't add a child to the mix for three years.

But as I read it, I realized that the first year of marriage, no matter what the circumstances, holds the same challenges now as it did then. Granted, I didn't have to adjust while dealing with a boatload of raging hormones but both of us had to learn to accommodate our new spouses, our new surroundings, get used to living 24/7 with another human being, juggle two jobs, and come to terms with two sets of different expectations. As Andy Rooney once said, "No one ever said that marriage was easy. And if anyone ever did say it, and I missed it, they were wrong."

Not easy. Definitely not easy. But so worth it.

Happy Anniversary, sweetie.