A Tale of Two People

You come in contact with a lot of different people over the course of a lifetime. Some of them are thoughtful, generous and kind; you know, the ones you like to hang out with, the ones that make you feel good just being around them. Then, there are the other kind; the mean-spirited, quick-to- criticize, toxic people that infect any room they enter. After spending time this past weekend with one of the former, I've decided to: a) do my best to emulate that kind of behavior and b) make every effort to steer clear of those who don't.

Throwing a party can be stressful. If you're lucky, you get to do it with people like my new favorite person in the world, my nephew's new mother-in-law, Debbie. The morning of the shindig, she walked in the door, eager to do anything she could to help. If there was fruit to be skewered, she did that; if there were dishes to be done, she did that. And she did it all with a big smile on her face. Later, after the guests arrived, she interacted with everyone as if they were her new best friends. And they all wanted to be.

I said this was a tale of two people. The opposite side of this personality spectrum is a person I have to deal with on a regular basis. whose sharp tongue and condescending manner do nothing but make everyone around her feel bad about themselves. I wish she could spend a few minutes with Debbie. I'd like to think that she would pick up a few pointers on how to win friends and influence people but I'm pretty sure she would dismiss her as a phony do-gooder and go right back to the toxic behavior of which she seems so totally unaware.

I may have to continue dealing with people like the person who shall remain nameless but, when I do, I'm going to be asking myself one thing.

What would Debbie do?

If Your Friends Are There . . .

When the going gets tough . . . you better have a couple of good friends standing by with a pitcher of margaritas. (Did you really think I was going to say ‘the tough get going’?) Not a chance. Friends (and margaritas, come to think of it) are one of the miracles in life. So any time I spend more than a couple of minutes thinking about how blessed I am, one of the blessings that consistently floats to the top of the list is the amazing group of friends that God has given me. If trials and struggles have any saving grace, it’s that going through them have a way of weeding out the casual acquaintances from the call-me-in-the-middle-of-the-night-if-you-need-me true friends. Sometimes those special people are friends that have been with you from the second grade; other times they turn out to be relative newcomers to your address book (sorry, I mean iPhone) who surprisingly step up to the plate just when you need them the most.

Today, I had lunch with someone who’s been around through many of my life’s ups and downs. Like me she married a type-A engineer; like me, she moved overseas to accommodate her husband’s career. We had our kids at approximately the same times in our lives and we’ve lived in the same town for the last fifteen years. We don’t see each other as often as we should but every time we do get together, we pick up right where we left off. That’s one of the best things about a true friend. There’s a shorthand between them that is as comforting as a jelly doughnut and not nearly as fattening.

I’m lucky enough to have a nice house, a decent car and a few bucks in the bank but as I get older, I value my friendships with all the wonderful women in my life more than just about anything. I know it’s asking a lot, but I hope everyone who reads this has friends half as wonderful as MaryAnn, Janet, Donna, Lynda, Susan, Debbie, Katie, Linda, Kirsten, Rene, Lori, and Karyn.

I appreciate all of you more than you’ll ever know.