The end is near

When I was younger I would tell anyone who would listen that I wanted to have a lot of children and give them all away when they were twelve. Since the state of Illinois frowns upon that sort of thing, I'm afraid I'm still stuck with the two I had. My oldest, Jessica, will be twenty-three in January and my son, Josh, will be twenty-one next week. They're bright, funny, generous people who will enrich my life until the day I die. They're also pantry-raiding, car-hogging, leave-their-stuff-everywhere slobs who threaten to occupy a permanent spot on my couch until the day they die. My husband and I have seriously discussed moving in the middle of the night to an undisclosed location but that would probably be met with triumphant cheers by our offspring. No, what we need to do is make life more difficult for them. And that's exactly my plan.