Maybe India is On to Something

I've been praying for my daughter's future spouse for some time now but either God is not listening or he has a depraved sense of humor. My girlfriend, Linda, a devout Christian tells me that she began praying for her children's lifelong partners pretty much from the day they were born. Maybe I didn't start early enough but from the look of the potential candidates that are showing up on our doorstep, I think it's clear that it's time for my husband and I to take over the process. Forget about chemistry, forget about attraction. All we're asking for is a halfway intelligent employed individual with rudimentary hygiene to throw his hat into the ring. So far, her choices have left much to be desired and I am completely unwilling to even contemplate spending the next thirty Christmases with any of them. That's why I'm starting to research the idea of arranged marriages. I know it sounds archaic but I'm certain I could do a better job. And I'll do it for a lot less money than e-harmony or match.com. Funny thing is, my daughter seems to be warming to the idea. Whenever I mention it, she challenges me to "Bring it". So now all I need are a few applicants for the very desirable position of my future son-in-law. Resumes are currently being accepted.

Merry New Year

Well, this year our children weren't the only ones ringing in the new year in a festive environment. Translation: we broke tradition (that being extreme anti-socialism and laziness) and went to a party. The gathering was just ten minutes away which gave us little excuse not to ditch the pajama pants and go hang out with some grown-ups. The pressure was on. Could we make it to midnight or would we have to bail after the ball dropped in Times Square? It was touch and go but thanks to our gracious hosts (who practically barred the door), Daniel and I welcomed the New Year together at midnight CST for the first time in several years. While I was dreading leaving the house (hey, it was below zero) and walking into a house full of strangers, I have to admit I actually had a good time. I met some warm, intelligent people, saw the end of the Blackhawks game on a screen that was bigger than the one at my local theater and stuffed myself with the best shrimp I've had since I last visited San Francisco. All in all, not a bad way to ring in two thousand ten. Or is it twenty ten? I still haven't decided.