If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm not a big fan of cold weather. I'm the kind of gal that needs a sweater and a good pair of socks when the temperature dips below 70 so you can imagine how I feel about dealing with Chicago winters. Granted, this one hasn't been as bad as most but I still have days when I can't get warm no matter what I do and I've done just about everything except hop inside my nicely pre-heated 350 degree oven.
But now it's March. Tomorrow is the first full day of Spring. And it's 19 degrees outside. Not funny.
I'm ready to pack up the fuzzy socks and fleece jackets and dig out the shorts and flip flops. I'm ready to pack up the space heater in the family room and open up the windows. I'm ready to put away the slow cooker and crank up the barbeque grill.
I am not ready for more winter.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Don't Stand. . . Don't Stand So Close To Me
I have never used this blog to tell any of my readers what to do but that's all going to change today. If you see me standing in line in the mall, in the grocery store or at the DMV, do not, I repeat do not under any circumstances, get behind me. No doubt I would enjoy talking to you during the interminable time I am about to waste waiting in line but I wouldn't want to put any of you through that torture. Because no matter how I try to scope out the available cashiers, I will inevitably be standing behind a) someone who needs to search the deep recesses of her over-sized bag for her checkbook, coupons, or exact change, b) someone who picked up the one and only item in the entire store that doesn't have a barcode, c) an unhappy customer who "needs to speak to the manager", d) a mom who has to send her kid back to Aisle 12 for something she forgot or e) all of the above.
I'm not kidding.
Yesterday I was in Costco. I had four items in my arms including a package of aluminum foil that weighed roughly the same as your average toddler. I looked for others who had made the trek to the cavernous superstore for less than a month's worth of supplies and found a line with two customers ahead of me. The elderly couple right in front of me had wine, yogurt and bottled water so they looked like a safe bet and the woman ahead of them was already loading her half-filled cart on the belt.
And that's when the fun started.
She started arguing about returning a box of Keurig coffee cups for a different brand and the cashier had to ever-so-politely inform her that she couldn't do that at the register. They went back and forth about why it wasn't an even exchange and why she couldn't perform the transaction. Oh, but it didn't stop there.
After that discussion was over, the customer waited at the end of the belt until everything was paid for before loading any of it back into the cart. And when she finally paid (with pennies, I think) she deposited every item into the cart as if it were made of glass and/or TNT with a speed rivaling dripping molasses. Meanwhile, I stood there, arms aching from my ten pound package of aluminum foil, watching the two lines on either side of me move through four or five happy customers who had done the smartest thing they had done all day.
They hadn't chosen to get behind me.
I'm not kidding.
Yesterday I was in Costco. I had four items in my arms including a package of aluminum foil that weighed roughly the same as your average toddler. I looked for others who had made the trek to the cavernous superstore for less than a month's worth of supplies and found a line with two customers ahead of me. The elderly couple right in front of me had wine, yogurt and bottled water so they looked like a safe bet and the woman ahead of them was already loading her half-filled cart on the belt.
And that's when the fun started.
She started arguing about returning a box of Keurig coffee cups for a different brand and the cashier had to ever-so-politely inform her that she couldn't do that at the register. They went back and forth about why it wasn't an even exchange and why she couldn't perform the transaction. Oh, but it didn't stop there.
After that discussion was over, the customer waited at the end of the belt until everything was paid for before loading any of it back into the cart. And when she finally paid (with pennies, I think) she deposited every item into the cart as if it were made of glass and/or TNT with a speed rivaling dripping molasses. Meanwhile, I stood there, arms aching from my ten pound package of aluminum foil, watching the two lines on either side of me move through four or five happy customers who had done the smartest thing they had done all day.
They hadn't chosen to get behind me.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Why Can't I . . .?
Most of the time when I write one of these, I can't think of anything to write about but today's different. I actually found myself wondering about all this stuff today and figured there was no better way to get this out of my system than to burden other people (namely my friends and family) with my insecurities. So, here goes:
1. Why can't I like natural peanut butter as much as I like Skippy?
2. Why can't I stop obsessing about when I'm going on another cruise?
3. Why can't I stop performing menial tasks in the dark? (I'm not being frugal, just lazy)
4. Why can't I like hummus like every other woman I know?
5. Why can't I find The Big Bang Theory funny? (Annoying, yes; funny, no)
6. Why can't I finish editing the novel I wrote more than two years ago?
7. Why can't I call my friends more often?
8. Why can't I find Johnny Depp remotely sexy?
9. Why can't I force myself to go to bed before midnight? (Okay, before one)
10. Why can't I figure out how to win the lottery so I can go back to Italy every year?
11. Why can't I be more interested in politics? (Oh, I know this one - it's too depressing)
12. Why can't I stop myself from tuning in to see who The Bachelor picks? (Yeah, that's right. I'll
be watching tonight - don't you dare judge me!)
13. Why can't I stop eating something sweet late at night?
14. Why can't I be a better housekeeper? (Good at cooking, lousy at cleaning)
15. Why can't I make a list and stick to it? (My husband wants the answer to this one as well)
16. Why can't I find a single fitted sheet for my king-sized bed (that doesn't cost a couple of
days' pay)?
17. Why can't I stop "reminding" my kids to do things?
18. Why can't I care about texting?
19. Why can't I exercise more?
20. Why can't I write this damn blog EVERY Monday, Wednesday and Friday????
1. Why can't I like natural peanut butter as much as I like Skippy?
2. Why can't I stop obsessing about when I'm going on another cruise?
3. Why can't I stop performing menial tasks in the dark? (I'm not being frugal, just lazy)
4. Why can't I like hummus like every other woman I know?
5. Why can't I find The Big Bang Theory funny? (Annoying, yes; funny, no)
6. Why can't I finish editing the novel I wrote more than two years ago?
7. Why can't I call my friends more often?
8. Why can't I find Johnny Depp remotely sexy?
9. Why can't I force myself to go to bed before midnight? (Okay, before one)
10. Why can't I figure out how to win the lottery so I can go back to Italy every year?
11. Why can't I be more interested in politics? (Oh, I know this one - it's too depressing)
12. Why can't I stop myself from tuning in to see who The Bachelor picks? (Yeah, that's right. I'll
be watching tonight - don't you dare judge me!)
13. Why can't I stop eating something sweet late at night?
14. Why can't I be a better housekeeper? (Good at cooking, lousy at cleaning)
15. Why can't I make a list and stick to it? (My husband wants the answer to this one as well)
16. Why can't I find a single fitted sheet for my king-sized bed (that doesn't cost a couple of
days' pay)?
17. Why can't I stop "reminding" my kids to do things?
18. Why can't I care about texting?
19. Why can't I exercise more?
20. Why can't I write this damn blog EVERY Monday, Wednesday and Friday????
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Let Them Eat Cupcakes
I'd like to make a case for an addition to the food group pyramid. We all know that we should be eating a diet of low-fat protein, lots of fruit and vegetables and healthy carbohydrates in the form of whole grains. But, c'mon, one perfect food has been ignored for too long and I'm convinced it needs to be added to the list of foods we should be eating if not daily, at least weekly. I'm speaking, of course, about the humble
cupcake - God's heavenly alternative to the celery stick.
Let's look at the positives. It's small, portable and can be decorated to accommodate any occasion. You can flavor it with just about anything that sparks your imagination, personalizing them to please a crowd of even the most picky eaters. Its calorie count is miniscule compared to its full-sized counterparts so guilt can be kept at a minimum and everyone from toddlers to grandmothers is crazy about them.
Just let a bowl of steamed kale try to tick off all those boxes.
Oh, I almost forgot the cupcake's most important attribute, its uncanny ability to make any day better and improve even the deepest case of the blues. For this alone, it needs to take its rightful place on the top of that pyramid. I know, I know, those crazy healthy food zealots will fight me but you know I'm right..
Should I make yours chocolate or vanilla?
cupcake - God's heavenly alternative to the celery stick.
Let's look at the positives. It's small, portable and can be decorated to accommodate any occasion. You can flavor it with just about anything that sparks your imagination, personalizing them to please a crowd of even the most picky eaters. Its calorie count is miniscule compared to its full-sized counterparts so guilt can be kept at a minimum and everyone from toddlers to grandmothers is crazy about them.
Just let a bowl of steamed kale try to tick off all those boxes.
Oh, I almost forgot the cupcake's most important attribute, its uncanny ability to make any day better and improve even the deepest case of the blues. For this alone, it needs to take its rightful place on the top of that pyramid. I know, I know, those crazy healthy food zealots will fight me but you know I'm right..
Should I make yours chocolate or vanilla?
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Rolling the Dice
When your kids are little you spend a lot of time on the floor. You shake rattles over their chubby cheeks as they wiggle on a crocheted blanket. You push colorful trains along a wooden track as your excited toddler yells, "Choo-choo". And you suffer through yet another round of sleep-inducing adventures in a place called Candyland.
Looking back, I cherish every one of those moments (really, even the Candyland) I spent crawling around on the carpet with my kids. From the building blocks to the board games to the building of Lego masterpieces, I wouldn't trade a minute of that floor time, especially now that it's nearly impossible for me to get down there. And even more impossible for me to get back up.
But the other night, I made the effort. A late night knock on my door had me ditching the remote and finding a way to contort my arthritic knees into a semi-lotus position just long enough to play a couple of games of Yahtzee with my not-so-little boy.
Because no matter how old your kids are, when they want to play with you, you've got to make it happen
Looking back, I cherish every one of those moments (really, even the Candyland) I spent crawling around on the carpet with my kids. From the building blocks to the board games to the building of Lego masterpieces, I wouldn't trade a minute of that floor time, especially now that it's nearly impossible for me to get down there. And even more impossible for me to get back up.
But the other night, I made the effort. A late night knock on my door had me ditching the remote and finding a way to contort my arthritic knees into a semi-lotus position just long enough to play a couple of games of Yahtzee with my not-so-little boy.
Because no matter how old your kids are, when they want to play with you, you've got to make it happen
Friday, March 1, 2013
The Little Things
I have to admit, my last blog was an indulgent trip to the pity pot. I wrote it late at night (always a mistake) after a nasty argument with one of my kids. I was hurt, tired and frustrated - a trifecta that rarely results in anything positive. If I had just said a prayer and gone to bed like I should have, I would have saved myself a lot of grief.
The next day, nothing seemed as dire as it had the night before (just like my mother always told me it would). When the alarm went off, I knew I had a choice - I could wallow in self-pity or give myself (and everyone else) a break and choose to be joyful. Guess which one I chose?
If you're open to it, it's not hard. There's a lot in life to be joyful about - a friend's thoughtfulness, an exciting Blackhawks victory, the humor of Stephen Colbert, a glass of good red wine, a late-nite Facebook chat with your sister. I took advantage of all of them because you never know which one is going to do the trick.
And if all else fails, there's always cupcakes.
The next day, nothing seemed as dire as it had the night before (just like my mother always told me it would). When the alarm went off, I knew I had a choice - I could wallow in self-pity or give myself (and everyone else) a break and choose to be joyful. Guess which one I chose?
If you're open to it, it's not hard. There's a lot in life to be joyful about - a friend's thoughtfulness, an exciting Blackhawks victory, the humor of Stephen Colbert, a glass of good red wine, a late-nite Facebook chat with your sister. I took advantage of all of them because you never know which one is going to do the trick.
And if all else fails, there's always cupcakes.
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