I'm not much of a gambler. Even when I had more discretionary cash, I hated watching it go down the drain in some casino. My mom, God bless her, can sit in front of one of those one-armed bandits forever. I know because I've had the difficult task of trying to pry her out of her chair on more than one occasion. Oh, I'll sit down and play for awhile, especially if I can find one of those interactive machines where you get a sporadic bonus giving you the chance to pick five jewelry boxes or Chinese take-away containers with various amounts of credits inside. If I pick the right ones, I've been known to make my twenty bucks last a couple of hours; if I don't, I'm reduced to wandering around the casino watching oxygen-deficient seniors gamble away their Social Security checks before it's time to pry my mom off that stool.
So, if I'm not much of a gambler and I hate throwing my money away, why did I take the time to purchase Powerball tickets along with my Big Gulp? Why did I deliberate so intently before filling in those six numbers with my black pen? I can only think of 500 million reasons.
Just saying that number is enough to make anyone get a little light-headed - 500 million dollars. What would you possibly do with 500 million dollars? The better question is, what couldn't you do? Everywhere I went today, I heard people talking about the options. Helping people, getting out of debt, paying off mortgages, buying the Chicago Bears - all good choices. Let's face it, with that kind of money you could do all of the above and still have enough left over to get Warren Buffett on the phone. All I know is that I'm not much of a gambler and I bought a few tickets. 175 million to one or not, even Suzi Orman couldn't have talked me out of taking a shot at that dream. And if I win, the first thing I want to do is charter a cruise ship and take all my friends and family on a trip of a lifetime. So, be nice - you might be getting a phone call.
And don't worry. There will be plenty of time to decide what to do with the rest of the money when I get back.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
No NaNo
November is almost over and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will not be writing another 50,000 word novel as I have during the last two Novembers. I went to the kick-off meetings, I had a couple of ideas but this year my attention was elsewhere. Since I'm now doing freelance writing two or three days a week, I couldn't get the motivation to write an additional 1667 words a day for a new novel. And with two previous attempts sitting in desperate need of editing, I couldn't bring myself to create another "child" without tending to the ones I've already got.
I will never minimize how much the experience of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) changed my life. Going from talking about doing something to actually doing it was a life-altering event and I'm thrilled that I did it not once but twice. But it's nice not to have anything to prove. I can do the challenge in the future for fun, for encouragement or to mentor someone else but I never have to do it to prove that I can. I've already done that.
So, now the path that NaNoWriMo opened for me has to be traveled. I need to find out what I can do with the knowledge that I can write on a regular basis if I really want to and I can finish what I start if I really push myself. Finding a way to make money from writing has always been a goal and getting that first check was a thrill but it's just the beginning.
The big dream that remains is seeing one of my books in a bookstore. Thanks to the last two Novembers, I'm one step closer to making that happen.
I will never minimize how much the experience of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) changed my life. Going from talking about doing something to actually doing it was a life-altering event and I'm thrilled that I did it not once but twice. But it's nice not to have anything to prove. I can do the challenge in the future for fun, for encouragement or to mentor someone else but I never have to do it to prove that I can. I've already done that.
So, now the path that NaNoWriMo opened for me has to be traveled. I need to find out what I can do with the knowledge that I can write on a regular basis if I really want to and I can finish what I start if I really push myself. Finding a way to make money from writing has always been a goal and getting that first check was a thrill but it's just the beginning.
The big dream that remains is seeing one of my books in a bookstore. Thanks to the last two Novembers, I'm one step closer to making that happen.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Getting Our "Give" On
It wasn't the way I planned to spend my Sunday morning. I envisioned something like hunkering down with the Tribune and a warm homemade donut. What I got instead was a 7:00am wake-up call, followed by a forty-five minute drive to Berwyn. What was I doing in Berwyn you might ask? Well, I was part of a wonderful group of people helping to box up 500 cartons of food. A Sunday before Thanksgiving tradition for CIACO (Chicago Italian American Charitable Organization), Baskets of Love is a yearly event bringing together families helping families.
My husband had worked the event before but this was the first year for my daughter and myself. We arrived at nine and started to pitch in wherever we could but it was obvious that this was a well-oiled machine that welcomed us but didn't really need us. Our hosts for the day, Buona Beef, provided the warehouse, boxes, palettes and hand trucks. They also fed us - twice. I should have known any volunteer opportunity sponsored by Italians would not be an occasion to walk away hungry.
The packing started promptly at 10. Children as young as three formed an assembly line through the middle of the warehouse, each dropping an item into an open box as it traveled down the conveyor belt. At the end of the belt, strapping young men were waiting to haul the fifty pound boxes to the holding areas where various organizations would pick them up to deliver them to needy families. Watching the spirit of giving being fostered in all these young kids filled me with hope about the next generation. It also reminded me of a quote I'd heard recently. The actress, Cheryl Hines, said she'd never seen an unhappy volunteer.
I didn't see one in that warehouse either.
My husband had worked the event before but this was the first year for my daughter and myself. We arrived at nine and started to pitch in wherever we could but it was obvious that this was a well-oiled machine that welcomed us but didn't really need us. Our hosts for the day, Buona Beef, provided the warehouse, boxes, palettes and hand trucks. They also fed us - twice. I should have known any volunteer opportunity sponsored by Italians would not be an occasion to walk away hungry.
The packing started promptly at 10. Children as young as three formed an assembly line through the middle of the warehouse, each dropping an item into an open box as it traveled down the conveyor belt. At the end of the belt, strapping young men were waiting to haul the fifty pound boxes to the holding areas where various organizations would pick them up to deliver them to needy families. Watching the spirit of giving being fostered in all these young kids filled me with hope about the next generation. It also reminded me of a quote I'd heard recently. The actress, Cheryl Hines, said she'd never seen an unhappy volunteer.
I didn't see one in that warehouse either.
Monday, November 12, 2012
My Favorite Scorpio
I've done a few stupid things in my life - that perm in 1989, that night in New Orleans (does what happened in New Orleans, stay in New Orleans?), dating a guy who was a Civil War nut - but none of that matters. I had two amazing moments of glory that outshine all the dumb stuff I've done. I gave birth to two pretty terrific human beings. One of them turned 24 over the week-end and I've been reflecting on what it took to get him to the spot in which he's currently residing.
I'll be the first to admit that I have a lot of guilt about how I raised my kids. There weren't enough consequences and I didn't school them enough about the value of a dollar. I bailed them out too often and didn't let them learn anything the hard way. Funny thing is, at the time I thought I was doing those things. It's only now that I realize how much more I could have done if I would have let them hate me a little more often.
Now that my son is grown, I look back with a lot of regret. I wish I could turn back the clock and help him in ways that I didn't; I wish I could go back and encourage him in ways that would have helped him figure out who and what he wanted to be a little bit sooner. Maybe this is what happens to every mother when her kids leave the nest. Maybe we all doubt we've prepared them as well as we could have. Or maybe it's just me.
All I know is that he's another year older and so am I. As I baked him his favorite chocolate cupcakes, I could only wish for one thing - that the coming year would bring him happiness and bring him closer to getting all the good things in life he deserves.
He's on his way. And now he has wheels.
I'll be the first to admit that I have a lot of guilt about how I raised my kids. There weren't enough consequences and I didn't school them enough about the value of a dollar. I bailed them out too often and didn't let them learn anything the hard way. Funny thing is, at the time I thought I was doing those things. It's only now that I realize how much more I could have done if I would have let them hate me a little more often.
Now that my son is grown, I look back with a lot of regret. I wish I could turn back the clock and help him in ways that I didn't; I wish I could go back and encourage him in ways that would have helped him figure out who and what he wanted to be a little bit sooner. Maybe this is what happens to every mother when her kids leave the nest. Maybe we all doubt we've prepared them as well as we could have. Or maybe it's just me.
All I know is that he's another year older and so am I. As I baked him his favorite chocolate cupcakes, I could only wish for one thing - that the coming year would bring him happiness and bring him closer to getting all the good things in life he deserves.
He's on his way. And now he has wheels.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I Need a Wife
As I was leaving my job at the tennis club today, I mentioned that I was going home to work on writing. One of my friends commented that she didn't know how I had the energy to go home and do anything after working my shift. She said she was so wiped out when she got home that she usually ended up on the couch with a glass of wine and the remote. Not a bad scenario and one I've adopted more than a few times but that's not what I told her when she asked me how I do it. I have a very simple answer. My house looks like crap.
I wish I needed an excuse to avoid housework but I do not. It has always been on the bottom of my totem pole and now that I have an opportunity to do something I love; to write for someone who actually sends me a check for all my keystrokes, it's become even less important. Every once in awhile I'll squirt some stuff in the toilets, recycle the newspapers or throw a few dishes in the dishwasher; beyond that, my house has been basically left to its own devices.
Luckily, I have a tolerant husband. I know he'd like the house to be cleaner; I know he'd like the clutter to disappear. I know he'd like to come home to something in the oven. But I also know that he's proud of me.
And that feels a whole lot better than having a clean house.
I wish I needed an excuse to avoid housework but I do not. It has always been on the bottom of my totem pole and now that I have an opportunity to do something I love; to write for someone who actually sends me a check for all my keystrokes, it's become even less important. Every once in awhile I'll squirt some stuff in the toilets, recycle the newspapers or throw a few dishes in the dishwasher; beyond that, my house has been basically left to its own devices.
Luckily, I have a tolerant husband. I know he'd like the house to be cleaner; I know he'd like the clutter to disappear. I know he'd like to come home to something in the oven. But I also know that he's proud of me.
And that feels a whole lot better than having a clean house.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Done Deal
It's over. My kid has wheels and I will not have to step into a car dealership, used car lot or finance manager's office for the foreseeable future. As I detailed in my last blog, I have been helping my son try to find a reasonable vehicle for some time and am more than relieved to have the process over with. We may have been able to track down a better value but at this point, I don't care. It's done and I don't have to look at cars anymore.
The funny thing is, no one has told my computer to knock it off. Since I did a lot of the research online, my computer thinks I'm still looking so deals keep popping up all over the place. It's scary, actually, that I'm only getting ads for the make and models we were targeting, which only cements the idea that our every move is being tracked. I don't know how to make it stop - I never realized how many car commercials there were until I actually started paying attention - and I don't want some great deal to pop up reminding me what a great car I could have found for him, if only I would have been a little more patient.
I have to keep telling myself he's happy. For all the crazy running around, the anxiety about co-signing a loan and the endless pressure applied by car salesmen, all I had to do is look at his face when they handed him the key. Getting your first car is something special. It was exhausting but I'm glad I got to be a part of it.
As a parent, it's tough to know sometimes if you're helping or enabling; coddling or instructing. I beat myself up a lot over past mistakes and I have a lot of guilt about how I've handled things.
But not this time. This time I know I did the right thing.
The funny thing is, no one has told my computer to knock it off. Since I did a lot of the research online, my computer thinks I'm still looking so deals keep popping up all over the place. It's scary, actually, that I'm only getting ads for the make and models we were targeting, which only cements the idea that our every move is being tracked. I don't know how to make it stop - I never realized how many car commercials there were until I actually started paying attention - and I don't want some great deal to pop up reminding me what a great car I could have found for him, if only I would have been a little more patient.
I have to keep telling myself he's happy. For all the crazy running around, the anxiety about co-signing a loan and the endless pressure applied by car salesmen, all I had to do is look at his face when they handed him the key. Getting your first car is something special. It was exhausting but I'm glad I got to be a part of it.
As a parent, it's tough to know sometimes if you're helping or enabling; coddling or instructing. I beat myself up a lot over past mistakes and I have a lot of guilt about how I've handled things.
But not this time. This time I know I did the right thing.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Deal or No Deal
That's it. I surrender. I have had it with car salesmen, dealerships, mechanics and finance managers. After a month of scanning the internet and driving all over tarnation looking for a reliable vehicle for my son, I have had enough. I have bought many cars in my lifetime and I don't remember it being anything like this. If it had been, I'm sure I would currently be riding a bike or taking public transportation.
I purchased my first car when I was sixteen. My dad, of course, had to co-sign but I was able to purchase a brand new Toyota Corolla while working at a part-time job that paid $1.65 an hour. Okay, I'm old but that doesn't explain why buying a car in 2012 is such an unpleasant, difficult experience. I'd venture a guess that it has something to do with those troublemakers in Washington. The housing crisis and the economic downturn caused from passing out currency like Halloween candy have made it almost impossible to borrow money, especially if you don't have much of a credit history. How you get a credit history while no one will issue you credit is a kink in the system the banking industry has yet to iron out but their desire to be more fiscally responsible is something I can understand. What I don't understand is how finance companies and banks can get away with charging 10.9% interest to someone when he has a co-signer who has a credit score over 800!
So now I have two choices. I can continue looking (please don't make me) for a cheap vehicle that my husband and I can loan him the money to buy (which does nothing to help his lack of credit problem) or I can co-sign on a loan for a car that will likely last him until he makes the last payment. Anything in between is out because banks won't finance loan amounts less than five or six thousand dollars. No doubt they're making enough with all the nickel and dime fees they charge. Why should they be bothered with small loans that might improve some young person's credit and encourage customer loyalty? I could be wrong but I thought that's what all that bailout money was supposed to be for. All I know is that I'm tired of the whole exhausting, stressful, not-fun process. I'm tired of searching, worrying and researching. I just want my kid to have a car and I'd like for him not be ripped off in the process.
Is that too much to ask?
I purchased my first car when I was sixteen. My dad, of course, had to co-sign but I was able to purchase a brand new Toyota Corolla while working at a part-time job that paid $1.65 an hour. Okay, I'm old but that doesn't explain why buying a car in 2012 is such an unpleasant, difficult experience. I'd venture a guess that it has something to do with those troublemakers in Washington. The housing crisis and the economic downturn caused from passing out currency like Halloween candy have made it almost impossible to borrow money, especially if you don't have much of a credit history. How you get a credit history while no one will issue you credit is a kink in the system the banking industry has yet to iron out but their desire to be more fiscally responsible is something I can understand. What I don't understand is how finance companies and banks can get away with charging 10.9% interest to someone when he has a co-signer who has a credit score over 800!
So now I have two choices. I can continue looking (please don't make me) for a cheap vehicle that my husband and I can loan him the money to buy (which does nothing to help his lack of credit problem) or I can co-sign on a loan for a car that will likely last him until he makes the last payment. Anything in between is out because banks won't finance loan amounts less than five or six thousand dollars. No doubt they're making enough with all the nickel and dime fees they charge. Why should they be bothered with small loans that might improve some young person's credit and encourage customer loyalty? I could be wrong but I thought that's what all that bailout money was supposed to be for. All I know is that I'm tired of the whole exhausting, stressful, not-fun process. I'm tired of searching, worrying and researching. I just want my kid to have a car and I'd like for him not be ripped off in the process.
Is that too much to ask?
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