I've done a few stupid things in my life - that perm in 1989, that night in New Orleans (does what happened in New Orleans, stay in New Orleans?), dating a guy who was a Civil War nut - but none of that matters. I had two amazing moments of glory that outshine all the dumb stuff I've done. I gave birth to two pretty terrific human beings. One of them turned 24 over the week-end and I've been reflecting on what it took to get him to the spot in which he's currently residing.
I'll be the first to admit that I have a lot of guilt about how I raised my kids. There weren't enough consequences and I didn't school them enough about the value of a dollar. I bailed them out too often and didn't let them learn anything the hard way. Funny thing is, at the time I thought I was doing those things. It's only now that I realize how much more I could have done if I would have let them hate me a little more often.
Now that my son is grown, I look back with a lot of regret. I wish I could turn back the clock and help him in ways that I didn't; I wish I could go back and encourage him in ways that would have helped him figure out who and what he wanted to be a little bit sooner. Maybe this is what happens to every mother when her kids leave the nest. Maybe we all doubt we've prepared them as well as we could have. Or maybe it's just me.
All I know is that he's another year older and so am I. As I baked him his favorite chocolate cupcakes, I could only wish for one thing - that the coming year would bring him happiness and bring him closer to getting all the good things in life he deserves.
He's on his way. And now he has wheels.
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