It's hard to believe that our daughter will soon celebrate five months of wedded bliss. Seems like those champagne glasses were clinking just a couple of weeks ago. Although quite a bit of evidence remains that she once lived here (like that bedroom closet and the steady stream of mail with her name on it), she has moved most of her stuff out of the family homestead and settled happily into life as a married woman (and soon to be mom). It's hard not to have her around every day but I know she's found a partner that will love and care for her as long as he has breath in his body and who could ask for anything more than that?
The one thing I wasn't looking forward to dealing with once she said "I do" was having to share my child with another family. Oh, I didn't mind the idea that she would be having dinner or catching a movie with the in-laws every now and then, I just didn't want to haggle over who was going to get who for Thanksgiving or Christmas morning. I've watched my sister struggle with her sadness over empty holiday chairs and I knew I wasn't going to handle it very well. And the alternative? Melding the two families for holiday celebrations? Well, that worried me too. What if our traditions bit the dust? What if the new family's Thanksgiving stuffing sucked? Or, even worse, my girl liked it better than mine? Petty, I know, but this is the stuff that keeps me up nights.
Not to worry. Yesterday, the first big holiday since my daughter's wedding, we were invited to her in-laws for Easter dinner. Her second mama made a ham on the grill, laid out a beautiful table and welcomed not only my husband and me but our son, his girlfriend and my parents. Enjoying the first truly beautiful day of Spring, we sat out on their spacious deck, drank several glasses of wine, and shared our stories. We talked (and laughed) about our holiday traditions, our families, our jobs, and anything else that could comfortably be discussed in that kind of mixed company. (I'll have plenty of time to shock them with what I'm capable of talking about later.) It was surprisingly effortless and a whole lot more fun than I originally thought it would be.
And those traditions I was so worried about? I came armed with our world-famous Easter egg cookies and Mama #2 made her husband's favorite Polish sausage with sauerkraut (which my hubby eagerly devoured). I made a variation of my mom's revered mac and cheese and our go-to sweet potato recipe got a sensational make-over by the newlywed that had all of us asking for more.
When we packed up the leftovers and headed for home, it dawned on me that sharing my daughter with another generous, loving family that's almost as crazy about her as I am might not be nearly as hard as I feared it would be. The food was great, the conversation was lively and I didn't have a sink full of dishes to wash.
Always looking for that silver lining.
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