Exactly how many chances are we human beings entitled to? That's a question I've been wrestling with ever since my daughter announced that she's reconciling with her ex. Theirs has been a tempestuous relationship in the best of times and decidedly unhealthy in the worst. After more than a year of drama, her father and I were more than relieved when, after numerous break-ups, they finally went their separate ways. Now, after a couple of months, they've decided to forgive, forget and try again. And they want us to be, if not happy, okay with that.
I'm not stupid. I know people, especially young people, make mistakes. God knows my errors in judgment and dealing with relationships could fill a rather large, somewhat entertaining book. I try not to hold a grudge; I know how important it is to forgive. But when you mess with one of my kids, all bets are off. I want to preserve the close bond with my daughter; I don't want to drive a wedge between us. Trouble is, I keep remembering that Maya Angelou quote, 'When people show you who they are, believe them'. And, while I know people can change, I also know they usually don't. So, if I decide to welcome this guy back into the fold and he ends up resorting to his previous, verbally abusive behavior (or worse, escalates into something physical), how am I ever going to deal with that?
My daughter reassures me that it won't happen. He's a changed man. He's grown up. He's gotten his act together and is treating her like a queen. She's already convinced. Her father and I are going to take a lot longer.
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