Forgive me while I snap out of a major case of deja vu. Conversations with your kids will do that to you. One minute I was sprawled out on my daughter's bed listening to her concerns of the day and the next minute I was being gently reminded that my marriage was woefully lacking in the communication department. Huh? When I finished defending myself, I couldn't help laughing at the irony. Thirty-five years ago I had the exact same conversation with my own mother.
What I couldn't explain to my genuinely concerned daughter (or my twenty-three year old self) was the difficulty of anyone on the outside accurately assessing the state of someone else's marriage. It may look seriously flawed, if not completely broken, to invested onlookers but, in reality may just be going through another one of those temporary bottlenecks commonly referred to as a rough patch by us long time married folks.
My daughter, unmarried as of yet as I was when I had my infamous "let me help your marriage" talk with my own mother, was just trying to help. I know her intentions were completely noble and driven by love for both her wayward parents. Believe me, I can relate. But there's no way she will ever be able to fully comprehend the complexities of marriage until she has one of those rings on her finger for a very long time. No one can.
How can I explain to her that it's okay that we're in a little bit of a rut? It's okay that we're on a little togetherness hiatus. It's even okay that we haven't connected in the romance department for a little while. I know that it's not going to stay this way. I know it's just another one of those breaks in the dance. Like all roads leading to Rome, our mated-for life paths are destined to reconverge sooner rather than later. I just have to give myself the necessary kick in the pants (which isn't even remotely possible with my bad knees) to jump start the process.
I wonder if it's too late to make dinner reservations?
No comments:
Post a Comment