I've come to the conclusion that you can make yourself crazy trying to be fair. When you have two kids you want to make sure that you dole out your time, money and support on an equal basis (I have no idea how those Duggars do it with 19). But there's just no getting around the fact that, as hard as you try, things are going to get uneven once in awhile.
It's like that old adage about marriage. There's nothing 50/50 about it - sometimes you're giving 90% and sometimes you're giving 10%. You can only hope that it's not a one-way street and, like Vegas, will even out in the end. But your kids don't realize that yet. They also don't realize that when one of your kids is in trouble, you've got to be on the hook for more than when things are coasting. The hard part is, trying to explain it to the one whose life is not currently going up in flames.
You can remind them that their time is probably coming. You can reassure them that you'll do your best to be there for them when they really need you. But that doesn't stop them from feeling cheated right now. And it doesn't stop you from feeling guilty.
Why wasn't this a chapter in all those baby books?
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