I’m going to get a little delicate with this one. Is there
anything that makes you feel better than wearing comfortable underwear? I didn’t
think so. For years I’ve tried to squeeze myself into flimsy undergarments that
barely covered what undergarments are meant to cover. I’ve bought slinky
bikinis with elastic that inevitably rose up into areas it was never meant to
occupy and lacy hipsters with no elastic that refused to stay where it was
supposed to. But no more. My Victoria’s
Secret catalog has been consigned to the nearest recycling bin. For I have
found the Holy Grail – a comfortable pair of halfway-decent looking underwear
that comes in at half the price of the fancy stuff.
I’m not talking about granny pants. I may get there someday
but not today. They are cotton but they’re cute cotton and they're hipsters (a
suitable concession to gravity from bikinis). And the best part - they come in packages of six
at your favorite discount store. Once I slipped them on, I knew. I knew my days
of wedgies were over. I knew my trips to the bathroom to retrieve my sliding
undies had come to an end. I knew elastic would no longer be digging into my netherlands. This
was it. Nirvana.
Hanes – you had me at hello.
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