How can a little thing like changing your cable company lead to a major screamfest? All I wanted to do was discuss the possibility of switching to Comcast. Sounds innocuous enough, right? So how did I end up eating my dinner alone?
I may be crazy but, for me, it all comes down to tone. I didn't have a problem with my husband questioning my motivation. I didn't mind that he thought the persistent salesman who came to our door was less than truthful about the product he was pushing. I've been married for twenty-seven years; this kind of thing has come up before. No, what I have a problem with is being talked to as if I'm a child. When anyone takes that 'I know more than you do' tone with me, I tend to tune out whatever comes next. Shocker, huh?
The problem is, he honestly doesn't hear it. He thinks he's just making observations or providing me with necessary information. All I hear is the condescending tone of a know-it-all bully. As I learned in cross cultural training (a program designed to help you understand the linguistic minefields you might encounter living overseas), the source of the trouble resides in our different upbringings. My husband's homeland is big on delivering information. They're not overly concerned about being tactful and they sure don't understand Americans' tendency to sugarcoat everything that comes out of our mouths. I get it. I try to understand it. I just don't have to like it.
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