Grace Under Fire

For the last three years, we have hosted a Labor Day barbeque for a group of our longtime friends. I’ve written about these amazing people several times in the past (despite the fact that not one of them has paid me a dime) but every time I’m with them, I feel so blessed to have them in my life that I feel compelled to let everyone in on how lucky I am.

We are a group of eight – four very diverse couples who somehow bring out the best in one another. Each one of our six friends brings something special to the party; each is a unique blessing in my life. But Saturday night I was particularly reminded of the strength and grace of one member of our group, someone who has had to deal with a little bit more than the rest of us.

We were talking about religion, having already covered politics, kids and relationships. During the conversation we were relaying our various comfort levels about outward expressions of our faith, especially the practice of raising our hands to the heavens in prayer. When my friend mentioned that he was uncomfortable doing that, I thought he was a kindred spirit; someone who, like me, was reluctant to be overly demonstrative in church. Later, I was taken aback by his quiet admission that the real reason that his arms didn’t reach for the skies was that he was embarrassed, not of his faith but of his hands.

Rheumatoid arthritis has taken a toll on my friend; the joints on his fingers are swollen and distended from the battle. But he so rarely complains that the rest of us forget what the ravages of this disease have done to him. He so rarely lets any of us see how much pain he is in, that we forget that every hour of every day is a struggle. He is truly one of the most beautiful people I know, inside AND out. Instead of giving in and feeling sorry for himself (like yours truly probably would have), he continues to fight the good fight. He continues to (beautifully) play his beloved guitar. He continues to be a part of just about any activity his crazy group of friends gets him into. And he continues to inspire all of us who love him with his kindness, his compassion, his humor and his faith.

Like I said, I’m blessed with some pretty special friends.